bilbored
Friday, August 19, 2005
Diamonds In The Light
This week a colleague of mine came onstage during the lamp check to speak to me. This was highly unusual and I hate to be interrupted during my preshow lamp check. It was the stage manager, which made the interruption all the more ominous and not one that can be ignored. A stage manager will never interrupt the lamp check unless something bad has happened.
“Bill”
Yes. I reply with irritation. Thinking, what whining complaint is coming.
“ Do you have a sec.” Like I have a choice. What the fuck is this all about, is what I am thinking as I reply pleasantly;
Sure Jo what’s up. ( Stock reply.)
“ Can I show you something?” Un huh, I reply with increasing trepidation.
She brings her hand out from hiding and in the bright light of the “cool gobo tips, that I was currently checking, shone a rather large diamond engagement ring.
I dropped the remote for the lighting board, my paper work, and as the saying goes squealed like a school girl. Oh my god Jo! and wished her congratulations as I hugged her, something she said later, I had never done.
I was genuinely and unreservedly happy for her. This of course is not necessarily an unusual reaction. Most people feel that way upon hearing about friends and colleagues united, as they head toward a future with the promise of happiness, love, joy etc. etc. That is the promise of such events no matter what the reality will ultimately bring forth. The initial joy and hope for a happy end is the same for all. At least if you were straight that is.
In the past I would often receive these announcements with outward pleasantries all the while feeling the inward pain of yet another passage of life that would be forever denied the likes of me. It was another slap in the face, another unintentional exclusion reminding me that I live life as a second class citizen. The message was. You do not belong.
Except this time none of that is true. I do belong, because that promise for Jo’s future is something that is now available to me, Should I be lucky enough to find myself in a similar situation. And though I generally find the whole business of weddings to be a bit overrated and there is no question that Mike and I would never in a thousand years have tied the knot ourselves. The principle is one of equality. It came to me just then with Jo’s announcement. The letter writing, the phone calls, the e-mails, the campaigning that I participated in has already paid off. Weather I ever marry or not in the future is not nearly as important as my right to do so. It was an unexpected surprise to find out that I could share unreservedly in Jo’s happiness and not for the first time in 46 years feel excluded or oppressed by that joy that she felt….Bill
This week a colleague of mine came onstage during the lamp check to speak to me. This was highly unusual and I hate to be interrupted during my preshow lamp check. It was the stage manager, which made the interruption all the more ominous and not one that can be ignored. A stage manager will never interrupt the lamp check unless something bad has happened.
“Bill”
Yes. I reply with irritation. Thinking, what whining complaint is coming.
“ Do you have a sec.” Like I have a choice. What the fuck is this all about, is what I am thinking as I reply pleasantly;
Sure Jo what’s up. ( Stock reply.)
“ Can I show you something?” Un huh, I reply with increasing trepidation.
She brings her hand out from hiding and in the bright light of the “cool gobo tips, that I was currently checking, shone a rather large diamond engagement ring.
I dropped the remote for the lighting board, my paper work, and as the saying goes squealed like a school girl. Oh my god Jo! and wished her congratulations as I hugged her, something she said later, I had never done.
I was genuinely and unreservedly happy for her. This of course is not necessarily an unusual reaction. Most people feel that way upon hearing about friends and colleagues united, as they head toward a future with the promise of happiness, love, joy etc. etc. That is the promise of such events no matter what the reality will ultimately bring forth. The initial joy and hope for a happy end is the same for all. At least if you were straight that is.
In the past I would often receive these announcements with outward pleasantries all the while feeling the inward pain of yet another passage of life that would be forever denied the likes of me. It was another slap in the face, another unintentional exclusion reminding me that I live life as a second class citizen. The message was. You do not belong.
Except this time none of that is true. I do belong, because that promise for Jo’s future is something that is now available to me, Should I be lucky enough to find myself in a similar situation. And though I generally find the whole business of weddings to be a bit overrated and there is no question that Mike and I would never in a thousand years have tied the knot ourselves. The principle is one of equality. It came to me just then with Jo’s announcement. The letter writing, the phone calls, the e-mails, the campaigning that I participated in has already paid off. Weather I ever marry or not in the future is not nearly as important as my right to do so. It was an unexpected surprise to find out that I could share unreservedly in Jo’s happiness and not for the first time in 46 years feel excluded or oppressed by that joy that she felt….Bill
Friday, August 12, 2005
August 12th and here is the first batch of tomatoes from the garden on their way to becoming home made sauce.
So, what is the big deal?
Last year it was so cold and wet, I did not make any sauce at all. There was not enough tomatoes to bother. This year it has been so hot, sunny and dry that the VFN Roma’s have begun ripening almost three weeks sooner than ever before. And they are perfect!
But there is no global warming. That is just lefty liberal propaganda . Right?....Bill
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Canadian Coast Guard ship, Samuel Risley about to descend in lock #3 of the Welland Shipping Canal The Samuel Risley is a Medium Navaids Tender-Light Icebreaker, designed to work in inland seas. It carries the department of Fisheries and Oceans name. but its main job seems to be, keeping shipping paths ice free and open at the beginning and end of the shipping season in the lower Great Lakes. If that is not glamorous enough it gets it name not from some naval hero or Canadian of note but rather from some old Victorian bureaucrat whose claim to fame is, “improving ship inspection and safety procedures thus ushering in a new era of steamboat safety in Canada”. That is so typically Canadian.
I took this picture today from the recreational trail that parallels the Welland Canal on the eastern edge of St. Catharine’s, as I was transiting to the south end of town on my bike. My work schedule has now returned to normal and so I hope regular posting will also return. Also I have decided I will not be put off by the individual who is attempting to assassinate my character by cherry picking through my posts looking for dirt. I let Schopenhauer have the final word today.
“The more clearly you become conscious of the frailty, vanity and dream-like quality of all things the more clearly will you also become conscious of the eternity of your own inner being; because it is only in contrast to this that the aforesaid quality of things becomes evident, just as you perceive the speed at which a ship is going only when looking at the motionless shore, not when looking into the ship itself.”
....Bill
I took this picture today from the recreational trail that parallels the Welland Canal on the eastern edge of St. Catharine’s, as I was transiting to the south end of town on my bike. My work schedule has now returned to normal and so I hope regular posting will also return. Also I have decided I will not be put off by the individual who is attempting to assassinate my character by cherry picking through my posts looking for dirt. I let Schopenhauer have the final word today.
....Bill
